What's LOVE got to do with it?

 

So I am officially single and loving it, or so I've managed to convince myself. 

Gone are the days of wanting, yearning, needing to have a man in my life. 
 
Recently I had a revelation. I decided that in order to survive the dating game, I'm going 

to have to switch the script a bit and take on a brand new role because I don't want to be 

the one who keeps on getting the raw end of the deal. In other words I don't want to be hurt 

anymore. I can't survive going through another let down and still continue to have faith in love 

and romance. So my brand new stance is I'm not into relationships, let's keep it nice and 

casual aka no strings attached. That way there's no room left for disappointments and ultimately 

hurt, which we know we all seek so hard to avoid at all costs. 
 
I've mentally created a list of 10 commandments for dating with NO STRINGS 

ATTACHED as a part of this new "dating" modus operandi:
 
1. Thou shalt not cuddle after intimacy. 
 
2. Thou shalt not spend the night after intimacy. And if by chance both parties happen to 

fall asleep, either immediately vacate the premises upon waking in the wee hours of the 

morning or sleep on the designated side of the bed, without touching unless it is for a 

second round of great sex. There shall be absolutely no breakfast in bed or spending the 

entire day cuddling with each other.
 
3. Thou shalt remove all of one's personal belongings after visit. Toothbrushes, socks, 

underwear etc are not to be left at either party's place of residence.
 
4. Thou shalt greet each other casually if both parties do encounter each other in 

public places. There is no liming, hanging out, chilling or partying together. And 

absolutely  no public displays of affection. A simple nod of acknowledgment will suffice.
 
5. Thou shalt not kiss each other tenderly or whisper sweet nothings during intimacy. 

And by no means address each other by name. Terms such as baby, dahlin, sweetheart 

or lover will suffice. 
 
6. Thou shalt not have late night conversations on the telephone getting to know each other. 

Actually phone calls are necessary only in cases of life or death. For a no strings 

attached relationship texting, bbm, facebook and email will suffice. And even these 

should be kept to a bare minimal. 
 
7. Thou shalt discuss other persons of interest. This is also known as keeping it real. 

This way both parties aren't under the impression that there's any level of exclusivity in 

the relationship. 
 
8. Thou shalt not under any conditions begin developing feelings for each other. The 

 moment either party feels the onset of feelings other than sexual attraction, this party 

needs to immediately pull away from the other thus ending the relationship.
 
9. Thou shalt not make this relationship known to anyone other than the parties involved. 

This is also known as keeping it on the down low. Both parties must maintain the appearance 

of being single, free and happily disengaged.
 
10. Thou shalt not use the dreaded L word. That word does not exist in the vocabulary of a no 

strings attached relationship.
 

Since I've put this plan of action into effect, I was also given a brand new title 
"Gangstaaaaaaaaa" and I'm learning how to wear that title well. Until the man comes along 
who shows me and proves to me that he's ready for more than a no strings attached 
relationship I guess I'm a ganstaaaaaaaa for life.