A real man knows a real woman when he sees her

I am a point in my life where I've been there, done that, I'm at a place where I just don't have time to waste. 

There are 24 hours in a day, of which I usually spend 18 awake and am still unable to complete all that I have 

on my to-do list. So to waste another minute, even a second is certainly not a part of my agenda. So I 

decided I'd play the no strings attached game for a while until Mr. Right comes along. 

Yeah I'm gaaaaaannngsttttaaaa, isn't that my alias now???? Of course people who know me know the truth. 

That's my my my my poker face that I put on to shield and protect my heart. 

Sometimes I feel I have so much to give to that special someone, but to him and no one else. 
 
So back to the N.S.A. scenario, I figure I'd settle for Mr. Right now, instead of waiting and being patient for Mr. Right. 

Bad move. Why do I need to settle for someone who doesn't want to settle down? 

From the moment a man and woman meet, they both know realistically where their relationship is or isn't going to head. 

Why then do we as women decide to put ourselves in dead-end relationships, why do we entertain the man who's 

"happily" married, the brother who's just chilling until the "right one" comes along, the dude who wants to "sort himself out" 

before he can be in a relationship? 

When a man meets a woman and sees her worth nothing and I repeat NOTHING will get in the way of him locking her 

down and claiming her as his. He will leave that wife (not that I condone this), step out of chill mode, and immediately 

become the most responsible, got-it-together man for the sake of "the one". 

He won't let her slip away from his grasp, and hold onto her as if his very existence depended on her being in his life.
 
 

An older woman I know once said that its not a woman's place to ask a man "Where is this heading?", he's the one 

that's supposed to take the initiative when it comes to moving forward in a relationship. And although we've made great 

strides in terms of gender equality and I am very modern in most of my thought patterns, I'm still old school and 

a bit conventional in this area. So I think if a man sees my worth, he would step to me correctly and make his 

intentions known. 

There's nothing more sexy and powerful than a man who's willing to let down his ego boundaries and 

step out of his comfort zone and say that he wants a chance to see where "this" can go.  

That is man!!!!!!! Nothing tops that. 
 
 

I've seen all kind of scenarios with respect to relationships from personal experience and through that of women around me, 

so there's nothing that surprises me anymore. I guess that happens in life, in general, the older that you get. I'm fully aware 

of the magnitude and multitude of games that are played in the dating scene, by both parties. 

But guess what silly wabbit trix are for kids. Games and tricks have no place in grown people's relationships. 

It's that plain and simple/ 
 
 

The older I get, the more open and honest I am about who I am with myself and those around me, and the more I expect the 

same of those in my life. 

I especially respect a man who shows he is man enough to be honest about his feelings and intentions. 
 
 

If there's something you want, why not go after it wholeheartedly and make your intentions known. 
 
 

I know that men are from mars, women are from venus. We operate on two completely different platforms it seems. 

But I believe that inevitably we all desire the same thing. 

We want someone who's committed to us and only us, we want someone who will stand by our side through thick and thin, 

good times and bad times, we want someone who we can just be ourselves fully with. So if that's  what we all really 

want deep down inside, why do we keep our intentions and what we feel hidden? 

I guess we don't want anyone to break down those walls we put up hide our vulnerable "self" from the world. 

I guess we're afraid of being rejected, used or taken for granted when we wear our heart on our sleeves. 

I guess those past hurts and disappointments have made us shy away from the greater possibility that could exist. 

I guess its easier to close our hearts off to the possibility of the beauty of love than to risk putting ourselves out there. 

I guess its human nature to take the easy way out. No one wants to experience pain right? 

Isn't the goal of human existence to avoid suffering at all costs? 

But how will we ever evolve and grow without going through the experiences that will mold and shape us into the 

individuals we are destined to become? 

And having loving, healthy relationships I believe are a vital part of that growth process. Yet so many of us avoid it 

because the risks seem to great, and we live lives where we close ourselves off from others and the possibilities that  

exist. 

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." 

Anais Nin


 

The Pursuit of Happiness

For a long time I searched for happiness, peace and joy. I searched in so many places, searched high, searched low, 

and just about every place in between. Happiness, what are you exactly and why did you insist on running away from me? 
 
What I've learned in my quest for that state of joy that is constant, is that the more you search, the more it eludes you. 

Now I'm not talking about the happiness that comes from a new hairstyle, a new pair of shoes, or a new man in your 

life. I'm talking about that stupid grin on your face for absolutely no reason at all. 

This is sometimes equated with madness. I've seen people who just smile to themselves for no apparent 

reason at all and wonder what kind of high they were on. I've seen people so still and calm, and just radiate a sense 

of contentment, and wonder what's their secret. 
 
So I've been on that journey to have that peace in my life and I haven't fully reached my destination, because I know 

its a journey that really has no final destination. 

On this journey though I've learned some very vital lessons:
 
1. I've learned that I can't wait to be happy. I can't wait until I have the perfect job, the perfect body, the perfect house, 

the perfect man, the perfect life. Because guess what I'd be waiting forever, as human beings we always want more. 

And nothing is wrong with striving for more than what we have or where we currently are, but so many times we put 

off living until this or until that and miss out on the joy of the now. 
 
2. I've learned to live in the NOW. I've learned how to make the most of my current situation, whatever it is. My life has 

taught me that where I am is right where I need to be.
 
3. I've learned that everything happens for a reason, and that sometimes things don't work out the way you want them 

to because they just weren't meant to happen that way. 
 
4. I've learned that when one door is closed, a bigger and better door will be opened. Trust me. Sometimes we have 

things in our life that take up extra space that we hold on to for dear life. We don't realize that we need to let go of these 

to make room for what really should be there to be able to come in. I've spent so much time fussing over what didn't 

work out in my life, without realizing that there's a reason why they didn't. And that if I'm patient enough, the pieces all fit 

together perfectly.
 
5. I've learned that anytime I have to swim hard against the current, that's probably not the direction in which I need to be 

going in the first place. And not that life doesn't have challenges or circumstances that make us stronger, but I'm talking 

about that thing which you keep hitting your head against the wall constantly to make it work out.  

It probably isn't part of your divine plan. And sometimes when you just let go and let the current take you where 

you were destined to go, the ride is smooth, easy and effortless.
 
6. I've learned to celebrate the beauty of the past, even if I can never relive those moments again.

I hear "Frankie" and I recall being 6 and singing at the top of my voice on the mike on my uncle's 

DJ set and how I wouldn't change a thing about my childhood even if I could.

I lay under my covers and I recall how I would cuddle next to my Granny and play with her arm, 

rubbing my hand against every wrinkle and crease on it and how lucky I am to have those 

memories of her. 

I hear a classic Super Cat dancehall tune and I remember when I'd go to Coconuts and dance 

whole night with my friends and how it was to be a carefree teenager growing up in Trinidad 

and how I couldn't ask for a better group of friends to grow up with. 

I look at a newborn baby and remember what it felt like the first moment I laid eyes on my son 

and how I knew what it was like to fall in love at first sight. 

I look at a mother and daughter together and recall how much I enjoyed the special moments 

I spent with my mom and how grateful I am to be an only child with a single mom because it 

created such a close bond between us that any other situation probably wouldn't have. 
 

7. I've learned to pursue that which makes me happy. So much of our time is spent pursuing 

things that enrich others, not only financially but that also afford others the leisure time we wish 

we had for ourselves. And we end up neglecting ourselves and what brings us joy. Our jobs leave 

us so tired and worn out that we have no time left to partake in the things that peak our interest 

and we don't get a chance to have our "what if" moment. You name it I've probably tried it 

because you never know until you try. As hard as it may be to make the time to do so, a big part 

of my joy has been indulging in a myriad of hobbies that allow me to express myself creatively. 

I'm worn out yes and sometimes downright broke, but guess what, I'm happy. 
 

8. I've learned to speak my mind, plain talk bad manners is what I call it. I'd rather get it off my 

chest and we deal with it than allowing stuff to fester and grow from a molehill into a mountain. 

As hard as it is to be confrontational, its way better to have open lines of communication than 

holding stuff inside that can cause unnecessary strain in a relationship. 
 

9. I've learned how to see the positive in EVERYTHING and everyone. My son says "Mom, 

you're such an optimist" while he holds the self-acclaimed title of realist. I wasn't always this 

way but I've learned the power of the spoken word and how you can actually talk yourself into 

the situation that you want to be in. So now I don't talk about what I don't want in my life. 

I talk about what I do want as if it already exists because in reality it already does, you just 

have to believe that it does. And it will come at the right time.
 
10. And finally I've learned that the pursuit of happiness is a personal journey. No one can teach 

you how to find joy. Its easy to tell someone they have nothing to be unhappy about, and expect 

them to just snap their fingers and achieve instant gratification. But there really is no magic 

formula or secret recipe to achieving a state of nirvana. That's something you kinda have 

to figure out on your own. As tough as it may be to go through the experiences that eventually 

lead you to that revelation, the pain is small in comparison to the joy that is the reward. 

Shades of a Rainbow - For Colored Girls

 

Its so hard to believe that in the year 2011 we as people of color continue to hold ideas about each 

other that divide instead of celebrate each other and our diversity. More so as sisters of color we 

should be building up each other's self esteem instead of tearing it down. I read a kids' book entitled Shades of People and the author brought home a serious point, there really isn't 

black or white, but shades in between. It also reminded of a book I read a couple years ago 

called The Color Complex, which discussed the issue of color AMONG people of color. 

There were several persons of mixed heritage in that book who expressed feeling torn by 

having to choose sides, particularly it was difficult when they had one "white" and one "black" 

parent. By adopting too many mannerisms of either side, they were labeled as either not black 

enough or may have been shunned by their white counterparts. In reading this book, though I am 

not a product of two distinctive races I discovered that I didn't want label myself as a "black" 

person, because that's simply one color in a spectrum of the color rainbow of diversity. It is then 

that I realized that when I met someone and they said what are you I automatically said 

black/ African and that was it, nothing further. And don't get me wrong its not that I am denying my 

heritage or ashamed of it, but to acknowledge one part of it is to deny the essence of who and all 

that I am. So now when someone asks me that question, I remember to include my maternal great 

grandmother from Venezuela, my paternal from India and the bit of Amerindian thrown in there, 

because their blood is in my blood and their heritage is also a part of mine just as much as my African roots.

On the topic of black skin and white skin: When I really look at it I've really never seen a black or white 

person. As the Shades of People book put it there's really no black or white when it comes to people 

just a whole lot of shades in between. So we can go from ivory to peach to caramel to toffee to sweet 

dark chocolate in the human race rainbow. More so as people of color we need to celebrate and embrace 

our diversity and beauty NOT put each other down. I've come to accept that I'm lightskinned or a reds as 

trinis put it. That's who I am, that's how God made me. Do I think I am beautiful because of my complexion? Now here's the tricky part of this question  because I don't want to come off the wrong way. I believe we are made as we were because that's how God 

intended us to be and in so doing we should embrace our beautiful selves as He saw fit. 

So back to the question, my complexion is a part of who I am so yes I believe I'm beautiful and 

I believe that is a part of my beauty, just as my eyes or my lips or my chin or my bellybutton. 

Its simply another aspect of me. I see so many beautiful women whose beauty is enhanced by their skin tone. 

The smooth chocolate darkie or the sunkissed golden brown chick wouldn't be the same had they been any 

other skin tone. Their skin tone is a part of their beauty, a part of who they are, made as God intended it to be. 

Now the question is whether one skin tone is more beautiful than the other, clearly no is the answer. But to say 

that should a light skin person be any darker they wouldn't be as good looking is really ludacris to say because 

the person wasn't intended to be any other way than he or she is made. Should it be said of a dark skin person, 

he or she would be more beautiful had they not been as dark. The same would apply because his or her rich 

darkness is part of what makes him or her beautiful. So I don't really understand the idea of putting down someone's 

complexion, a part of them that is impossible to change and why should it be changed if that's the way God wanted 

them to be in the first place.

Another point, when reading The Color Complex, and as we all probably know the remnants of a historical past of 

slavery still leaves its mark on us today, as people of color we still carry baggage about the variation of shades that 

exists in our world.

Its time to really let go of these and celebrate our light, dark, and everything in between selves, 

because we represent the beauty of the rainbow and its diversity.

Taking you Back To Basics, up close and personal with The Party Rocker himself Ricardo Gomez

Known for his ability to move a crowd with his musical mixes, his charisma and not to mention great sense of style, Ricardo Gomez takes partygoers back to basics with his skills as a deejay. He has created a name for himself as the original Party Rocker and rock any party he most certainly does.

Ricardo was raised here in the US in his early years, then moved back to Trinidad where he spent his pre-teen and teenage years. He returned to the US in 1988 and completed his college degree in Business Administration with a minor in Broadcasting. It was this minor that would ultimately determine the direction of his major career decisions. He was able to combine his background in business with his love for broadcasting to create the brand Back to Basics. He applied many of the fundamentals and basic skills that he had learned during his college years to his business, and to life in general. 

A true businessman at heart, Ricardo approaches his events with careful planning and foresight. When throwing an event, he begins by initially coming up with a concept. Then he will decide on the venue that he best sees fitting with this concept. Next he would evaluate the expenses and overall cost of the event and finally match it up to the need in the market. Then if the venture is financially feasible, its a go.

I took some time to get to know Ricardo up close and personal and here's what I found out:

1. At what age did you develop an interest in music and who/ what was your greatest influence?

I developed an interest in music at the age of 5. I grew up in a very musical home, my uncles were extremely jazz-influenced and soca was a staple in my home. I could remember hearing the likes of Mahalia Jackson and Nat King Cole in my grandparents' home and I knew about the fundamentals of Jazz before I was 8. Almost every weekend my mom and dad would have a dance with family members and friends over. They played records all night long, that was their idea of a fete, and fun was as simple as a gathering of people and good music. 

At the age 5, about 7 o'clock one morning after everyone had gone to bed, I grabbed the stereo and my hand got stuck in the A-track. It was then that I literally got stuck on music lol. This was really my first experience with music. My parents have always been supportive of my career decisions, but as you know our parents sometimes have more traditional roles in mind for us. By getting my degree and still pursuing my career as a deejay, I was able to compromise between fulfilling my calling and my parents' dream for me.

At around the age of 10-11 when I was in Trinidad some of pioneers in the deejaying arena were Dr Hyde, Teddy Mohammed, Brian Regis, and King Papa Rocky. These were the main foundation DJs when I was in primary school and I looked up to them. I didn't really aspire to be a DJ at that time but I always admired their skills. At that time I was into breakdancing, and was part of a rap group that performed on Party Time. 

Around the age of 14, I would spend my summer vacations in NY and every weekend I would diligently record and make tapes and bring them back to Trinidad with me. The DJs I followed, Marlie Marl and Red Alert, were mainly hip-hop oriented and this was the start of my fascination with the art of deejaying. 

I then studied under a DJ in Trinidad called Dr K and learned the basics of deejaying from him. After completing high school, I came up to the US and went to Kingsborough Community College and then to Brooklyn College. At Brooklyn College I started going to Caribbean parties and seeing the DJs in NY. These were the real catalysts in my choice to become a DJ. 


I remember standing in Tilden Hall one night and seeing King Chow, Mad Man Maddy and Sweet Needle Scobie and it was then that I decided that I wanted to be a DJ. Back then there were big fetes with just 3 DJs and no talking, just music. When I saw how these DJs had people in the palm of the hands simply by the music they played and without saying a word, I knew that was what I wanted to do. There was also the backyard party scene which was dominated by Supreme Team, Anonymous, and the Original GB productions. This was all in the early 1990’s. I would say that it was these DJs who had the most influence on me and made me say yes this is what I want to do. 

Luckily I happened to be in the right place at the right time. I got connected with Sound City, which was a Brooklyn sound system. Back then DJs had records and walked with their own sound systems. It was a perfect chemistry between myself and Sound City. As a team we dominated the Caribbean party market for about 11 years. We also pioneered doing things in the Caribbean market that had never been done before, we started using samplers and drum machines along with the DJ equipment. We also started venturing out of the NY area and played across the US and even Canada. We were part of the first group of NY DJs to play for a major band in Trinidad carnival, Barbarossa and did all of the major carnivals throughout US. Imagine we played in places like Los Angeles, Chicago, and Wyoming, places that you would never expect to have a Caribbean market. After about 11 years I decided to branch out on my own and chose the name Back to Basics and felt I wanted to take music back to basics, back to how it should be. 

At the end of the day, its not the name that makes the man but the man that makes the name. I realized that I could choose any name I wanted and make it a household name and brand it. I started using the name of Back to Basics at the end of 2000 and established the entity then. 

2. If you could play one genre of music all night long what would it be?

House music because I learned the art of deejaying with house music, that’s where I started back in college. I was a director with the music station at Brooklyn College. Soca was more of an underground phenomenon at that time and was not being played on the air over national radio stations. House music is my love, house, techno, rave, this is what I love. I decided though that I want to use my talent to promote my culture, so I represent by playing our music even though we as Trinidadian DJs tend to play a wide variety of music, that’s how we grew up.

3. Who is your favorite entertainer of all time?

Michael Jackson, he covers it all. I grew up on this man and the many different ways that he brings music to you. Even today we can still relate to his music. Yet for some reason his music grows with you, his music can capture a particular time period of your life. You can pick any song from him and recall a particular time in your life when that song was playing.

As far as our local artistes go, one of the pioneers of soca that I really admire is Super Blue. The way he could captivate and command a crowd back in the day was something to behold. Because I've seen how he has grown as an artiste and I've basically grown up with him, I'd have to say my favorite soca artiste is Machel Montano. I remember becoming a die-hard Machel fan when I was at a Steel Pulse concert and saw him performing with Panasonic express. This is when I was drawn to Machel’s talent and versatility. Nobody moves a crowd and does it best like Machel Montano. If I should decide to be on the other side of the fence as a patron his music and performance definitely moves me.

4. What would you say to a young person starting out who wants to pursue a career in deejaying?

Learn your craft well, love what you do, don’t do it for the wrong reasons or to be popular. Do it because you love it and you have a passion for it, do it because it draws you in. Be humble, and be open to taking suggestions, good and bad advice. Don’t play for yourself, play for the majority and learn your crowd because your crowd can change so learn how to read the crowd. It's not all about your skills, networking, humility, and personality go a long way, there are those who because of their humility would get ahead just because of their attitude.

5. What sets you apart from other DJs? What makes you successful?

Part of what I just said, again, being humble in spite of what I’ve accomplished. Being mindful of the fact that this can end any day. What I've learned is that I give my all regardless of where I am. The same way I play for 10 people is the same way I’d play for 1000. Both Rupee and Machel come to mind. I have seen them both perform with the same level of energy and enthusiasm in their performances regardless of how many fans were there. Being in touch with your fan base, every night will be different, feeling out your crowd and knowing who is there for you to play for. The minute you start playing for yourself or competing with other DJs, you are missing the point. I play for the people.

6. What's your favorite childhood memory?

Ha ha…I have so many…hmmmm….I'd say I had a great childhood and its hard for me to settle on just one memory.

7. If you could meet any person dead or alive who would it be and why?

I've always said that if there was anybody I would like to meet and I'm going way out there, I would love to sit down for a day, maybe even 2 or 3 and listen to Nelson Mandela tell me about his life. I saw how after having been imprisoned for so long and being under Apartheid law, he held no hatred and malice in his heart. I really admire that. He is a strong and truly admirable man, it would be an honor to meet him.

8. What's your greatest fear?

Failure. Believe it or not as successful as I have been in the past couple of years in terms of me doing events, I am always nervous about the outcome. Because of that fear I work harder at overcoming that fear and pushing for a successful event.

9. How do you spend your free time, if you do have any?

Very quietly. Quiet and peace are a rare luxury for me so I try to make the most of my quiet down time.

10. What legacy would you like to pass on to the future generation?

I would like it to be said that Back to Basics was one of the best DJs and that he made people happy whenever he played music. I want that when people hear me play, even if its for the couple of hours that they are in the party that my music can help transport them away from their worries and troubles. I want to be remembered as a good clean-hearted person that contributed nothing but positivity, and had a positive impact to people’s lives.

11. Boxers or briefs?

Both, depends on the mood and the level of sexiness.

Thank you so much to Back to Basics for taking the time to allow me and YOU to find out a bit more about yourself. I really enjoyed getting to know you and wish you continued success.

Why I started blogging...

 
To be quite honest, I really had no clue what blogging means, and I still really don't. Maybe I should look it up 

since if I call myself something, I should at least know what it means.

Last night someone asked me why I decided to start a blog. Now I don't know what a blog is but what I do 

know is why I want to blog. I've had people tell me I'm too overanalytical, I think too much, why can't I just 

relax and stop thinking so much. I thus concluded that thinking too much had to be a negative thing so I would 

bury myself in activities to calm my "overactive" mind. People who know me know I am always on the go, 

always here, there and everywhere, always up to something. Growing up I always had friends over, where I 

lived on Woodford Street was a hub mainly because of the accessibility of this location to Coconuts, Queens 

Park Savannah and the Stadium, all popular party and concert locations for teenagers in my hayday. I thought 

this would help me run away from my thoughts. I guess a line in Bob Marley's song "Running Away" has always 

stuck in my head "Yuh running and yuh running and yuh running away but yuh cah run away from yourself". 

That's the Trini dialect version lol. But seriously I always had something to do to keep my mind from thinking. 

So lo and behold my son moved back to Trinidad and now I have so much free time I don't know what to do 

with myself. I ran and ran but guess what my mind has finally caught up to me. There's only so far that a 

person can possibly run and not collapse in exhaustion. So after years of constantly being surrounded by 

people and activities, I was forced into a situation where I had no choice but to be alone. I realized that I was 

spinning top in mud as they put it. I had to figure out what my next move was going to be, how I would move 

forward from where I was stuck. 

As a parent, most times we neglect ourselves, our desires, our lives for the sake of our kids. This is what any 

good parent tends to do. But we also need nurturing so we can replenish ourselves and have the strength to 

give to our kids who are ever dependent on us for their survival and growth. 

That's what I had done for the past 3 years that I had been raising Ezekiel basically as a single parent because 

his dad and all of my family live in Trinidad. So now that he lives with his dad, I actually have time, something 

I had forgotten existed. I have had to make some tough decisions in my life, sending him to live with his dad 

being a major one, but that's a story for a whole other blog wink wink. 

The other tough choice I had to make which also coincided with his return home was to let go of the people 

and things in my life that were holding me back, that weren't allowing or rather encouraging me to grow and 

blossom. So I asked for the strength and clarity of mind in making the decisions that I always knew deep down 

inside I had to make. 

And the funny thing is once I made the decision it is as if a path cleared and all of a sudden opportunities 

came my way that I wouldn't have dreamed possible, my creative juices started flowing, I discovered what I 

enjoy doing, what I'm good at, what I believe is a part of my destiny and self actualization. 

Sometimes we need to let go of the old to make room for the new. Its impossible to cram the new into a space 

that is cluttered and crowded with the old. 

So I let go...and I opened my mind, heart and soul to ushering in the new. And it has been such a wonderful 

experience. The people I now choose to have in my life are all positive, uplifting, motivating, and add to the 

richness of my life. I am truly blessed to call them my friends. 

So back to the topic at hand, yes my mind is overthinking lol. In this world where there is so much negativity 

and things that get us down, I decided to use my blog as a way to talk about what is good, pure and positive 

in the world. So I choose to use this forum in addition to sharing insight into my mind, as a means to feature 

some of the people that I truly admire for their talent and strength of character. 

In this world where technology has begun to replace human interaction we now live as separate individuals 

rather than a race united by the common thread of humanity. My blog also seeks to show how much 

more we actually have in common with each other as human beings. 

Very often the interaction we have with people is so limited that we have many misconceptions about those around us. 

I know this from personal experience where I myself have been judged solely on bits and pieces of what people see 

of me. Through my " Up close and personal series ", I've been really getting to know people on a level that I would have 

never known had I not taken the time to find out about who they really are. 

And sometimes that's all we have to do, stop for a minute and just take the time to get to know and experience 

people below the surface and you will be pleasantly surprised at what you will find. 

A Shade of her own, up close and personal with Simone Arthur

 

From the moment you meet Simone, you can't help but fall in love with her warm smile and easy going demeanor. Her commanding presence, partly due to her height (yes she is a bess "tallest" as we Trinis would say) and her engaging personality have made her one of Brooklyn's memorable partygoers and event planners. I took some time to get to really know Simone, what moves and inspires her, and here's what I learned:

1. What inspired you to start promoting events?

Hmmmm, I would say partying with my mom from a young age, and 

from being in the limelight. I have always made friends easily. I 

decided to take the step and try something on my own after several 

years of partying and networking. My first venture was having a 

costume section "Dons and Divas" in the popular Big and Strong 

promotions Miami Carnival band “Yellow River”. This, I would say, 

was the official launch of the name "Shades of Ebony". This was 

the first step in getting the name "Shades of Ebony" out there. My 

first party was Genesis, the beginning part 1. Of course the name  

Genesis signals the beginning. "Shades of Ebony" annual events 

include Genesis, Rapture, and for the first time this year Velvet. 

 

2. What impression would you like "Shades of Ebony" events to leave on 

its patrons?

I definitely want people to leave with a big smile on their faces and a 

sense of anticipation for the next upcoming event.

3. What skills or talents do you need to run a successful event planning 

business?

First and foremost, love and passion for planning events. You should 

be personable, friendly, and able to network with all walks of life.

4. What are some of the challenges that you face as a female event 

planner in NY?

Staying ahead of the competition is definitely a challenge. Also, being 

able to juggle the traditional other roles in my life – mother, student, 

employee. But at the end of the day I don’t mind doing events because  

I thoroughly enjoy doing it.  

5. Where would you like to see "Shades of Ebony" in the next 5 years? 

My long term goals include being able to provide event planning services 

for other clients based on a proven track record over the years and possibly 

broaden my reach to outside of the Caribbean community.

6. What is your favorite color and why? 

Hot pink cause its just sexy.
 
 

7. What is one thing that people would be surprised to know about you? 

I don’t believe that anyone would be surprised by anything that I do.

8. What is your greatest accomplishment to date? 

I think I've done a great job in raising my son and bringing him up 

successfully to his teenage years and he is doing well. 

I am really proud of him.

9. If you could be any character in fiction who would you be and why? 

Superwoman because I want to be able to do everything, to help 

everybody. If I have the superpower of being invincible, then I  could 

be here, there and everywhere, helping everyone.  

 

10. If someone could look up your name in a dictionary, what description 

would you like to see next to it? 

Ha boy...“A bundle of joy”

11. Favorite movie and why? 

“Pretty woman” is definitely my favorite. The scene I like best in 

this movie is when they were laying in bed and she (Julia Roberts) 

finally kissed him and broke one of her established rules.

I'd like to thank Simone for taking the time for me and YOU to 

get to know her up close and personal. Wishing you and "Shades of Ebony"  

all the best in your future endeavors and I know this is only the beginning of great things 

to come.

What's LOVE got to do with it?

 

So I am officially single and loving it, or so I've managed to convince myself. 

Gone are the days of wanting, yearning, needing to have a man in my life. 
 
Recently I had a revelation. I decided that in order to survive the dating game, I'm going 

to have to switch the script a bit and take on a brand new role because I don't want to be 

the one who keeps on getting the raw end of the deal. In other words I don't want to be hurt 

anymore. I can't survive going through another let down and still continue to have faith in love 

and romance. So my brand new stance is I'm not into relationships, let's keep it nice and 

casual aka no strings attached. That way there's no room left for disappointments and ultimately 

hurt, which we know we all seek so hard to avoid at all costs. 
 
I've mentally created a list of 10 commandments for dating with NO STRINGS 

ATTACHED as a part of this new "dating" modus operandi:
 
1. Thou shalt not cuddle after intimacy. 
 
2. Thou shalt not spend the night after intimacy. And if by chance both parties happen to 

fall asleep, either immediately vacate the premises upon waking in the wee hours of the 

morning or sleep on the designated side of the bed, without touching unless it is for a 

second round of great sex. There shall be absolutely no breakfast in bed or spending the 

entire day cuddling with each other.
 
3. Thou shalt remove all of one's personal belongings after visit. Toothbrushes, socks, 

underwear etc are not to be left at either party's place of residence.
 
4. Thou shalt greet each other casually if both parties do encounter each other in 

public places. There is no liming, hanging out, chilling or partying together. And 

absolutely  no public displays of affection. A simple nod of acknowledgment will suffice.
 
5. Thou shalt not kiss each other tenderly or whisper sweet nothings during intimacy. 

And by no means address each other by name. Terms such as baby, dahlin, sweetheart 

or lover will suffice. 
 
6. Thou shalt not have late night conversations on the telephone getting to know each other. 

Actually phone calls are necessary only in cases of life or death. For a no strings 

attached relationship texting, bbm, facebook and email will suffice. And even these 

should be kept to a bare minimal. 
 
7. Thou shalt discuss other persons of interest. This is also known as keeping it real. 

This way both parties aren't under the impression that there's any level of exclusivity in 

the relationship. 
 
8. Thou shalt not under any conditions begin developing feelings for each other. The 

 moment either party feels the onset of feelings other than sexual attraction, this party 

needs to immediately pull away from the other thus ending the relationship.
 
9. Thou shalt not make this relationship known to anyone other than the parties involved. 

This is also known as keeping it on the down low. Both parties must maintain the appearance 

of being single, free and happily disengaged.
 
10. Thou shalt not use the dreaded L word. That word does not exist in the vocabulary of a no 

strings attached relationship.
 

Since I've put this plan of action into effect, I was also given a brand new title 
"Gangstaaaaaaaaa" and I'm learning how to wear that title well. Until the man comes along 
who shows me and proves to me that he's ready for more than a no strings attached 
relationship I guess I'm a ganstaaaaaaaa for life.